Tonight was definitely the blind date from hell. My boyfriend had thought it would be good for our relationship if we spent some time apart and I saw other men for awhile. My gut reaction when this new guy told me he was a vampire was, 'Not another one'. He was thin and pale, with dark seductive eyes, and was dressed smartly all in black, but I wrote that off as an affectation, that he was trying for a look somewhere between heroin chic and Goth bad boy. I tried not to choke on my Bloody Mary and decided to humour him.
“So if you’re a vampire, why don’t you glisten?”
He smiled slightly.
“Vampires only glisten in really bad teen movies.”
I laughed in spite of myself.
“You’re going to break a lot of teenage girls’ hearts with that heresy."
“I’m not interested in teenage girls,” he replied, “I’m looking for a woman to spend eternity with.”
“Eternity is a very long time” I answered back.
A look of immense sadness washed over his face.
“You have no idea” he said softly.
I tried to be polite, he seemed so earnest, but part of me just wanted to laugh.
“So what happened,” I asked, deciding to play along just a little bit longer, “did you get bitten by another vampire or something?”
He fiddled with the cutlery on the table, his eyes down, looking like he wanted to vanish into thin air. He pulled up the sleeve of his jacket on each arm, exposing four angry scars running from his wrist to his elbow.
“I committed suicide when I was thirty. Your soul is automatically damned when that happens. Now I’m forced to live amongst the un-dead.”
I was trying to find a way to end the conversation and the evening.
“I don’t want to be mean, but do you know how crazy that sounds, living amongst the un-dead?”
The grief and sorrow that had cloaked his face was violently replaced by anger and despair.
“I hate that word, it’s so dismissive! You’re crazy, vampires don’t exist, it’s all in your mind, snap out of it, grow up and accept responsibility for your actions!”
Several heads turned our way during his outburst. He was fighting back tears, clutching the knife, rocking back and forth in his seat.
“It’s ok” I said in a calm, soft voice, silently cursing my boyfriend. “I’m sorry I doubted you. I just don’t meet many vampires in this part of town."
He began to calm down and put the knife back on the table.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled from behind his fingers as he buried his face in his hands.
This had gone on long enough; I made an excuse about having to get up early the next day and grabbed my coat; he helped me put it on (he may be crazy but he was gentlemanly) and we made our way out of the bar. He insisted on taking me home; the ride back to my place was awkward and silent. He asked if we could see each other again, and I hemmed and hawed as I fumbled for my keys, giving him a quick kiss goodnight. I slammed the door, leaving him alone on the porch. I was pulling off my coat when the door bell rang. I opened the door to tell him to get lost; instead I found my boyfriend standing there, an anxious, unhappy look on his face.
“May I come in?”
I invited him in, walking into the living room and dropping onto the couch. He hesitated a moment, then plopped next to me. We sat in silence in the darkened room.
“Did you have a date tonight” he asked quietly.
“How did it go?”
I could hear the apprehension in his voice, and wanted him to squirm a little; it was his stupid idea that I see others.
“Awful. Some guy who said he was a vampire. I felt really sorry for him, but he made me totally uncomfortable. There are no normal guys left.”
I closed my eyes and placed my head back on the couch. He leaned over and nestled his face into my neck.
"I know I should say sorry, but I’m glad it didn’t work out.”
I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his lips next to my carotid artery.
“It was your idea for me to date other men” I mumbled sulkily. He began to nibble at my throat.
“I said I wanted you to date men, not other vampires.”
I gasped in pleasure as his fangs slipped seductively into my throat. As he began to feed I heard him grumble, “God, I hate when you drink.”
I laughed, my body starting to wriggle in delight.
“Serves you right for telling me to date others."